I probably hate you

baby's first words

mom:say mama
mom:say ma-ma
mom:say it!
baby:
baby:
baby:I came out to have a good time and I'm honestly feeling so attacked right now

Anonymous (via palmist)

(Source: levi-has-the-booty, via guy)

Don’t mistake my kindness for weakness. I’ll choke you with the same hand I fed you with.

speedlimit15:

*pronounces “hors d’oeuvres” as “horse divorce”*

(via sorry)

keezzyyy:

this child dresses better than every guy in my school

(Source: mymodernmet, via the-absolute-funniest-posts)